1. I have an excuse for seeming bitchy. Generally speaking, I think I have a pretty positive attitude. But I have been known to act a tad emotional both prior to and during my period. It’s one thing when that crazy side is kept within the confines of my own empty apartment, but when it’s directed at someone else? Like, say, a guy I like who didn’t really say the wrong thing, it just sounded wrong to my extra hormonal ears and so I kind of wigged out on him? Luckily, it’s all water under the bridge once I apologize, gesture to my lower abdomen and whisper sheepishly, “It’s that time of the month…”
2. They’re funny. I love that as women have become more open about their periods, menstruation has become a breeding ground for some truly innovative crude comedy. I mean, I will maybe never ever laugh as hard as I did the time an ex-boyfriend of mine dubbed tampons “girl corks.”
3. Hooray, I’m not pregnant! Even though I really, really want a baby right now, I don’t actually want a baby with any ol’ fool right now. Even though I’m either on the Pill or using a condom with my sexual partners, you know there’s always just a littttttle voice in the back of my head whispering, “Psst! What if it didn’t work? What if you are with child right now?!” When my period arrives on schedule, my mind is put at ease that there is no bun in my oven.
4. But chances are someday there will be. As I was saying, I really, really want a baby now, i.e. in the next three years. I have a plan in mind for how that’s going to go and ideally it will happen fairly easily, despite advancing into my mid-30s. I’ve always had a very regular period, which my gynecologist assures me means my reproductive organs are in tip-top shape.
5. It means I’m going to live forever. Okay, not forever, but in general, women live longer than men in part because of the iron we expel during our periods. Not that I’m tapdancing about outliving any of the men I love, but I’ll take as many healthy years on Earth as I can get.