I spent the better part of a decade with my ex-husband, so at 33, I’m pretty new to today’s dating world. One thing that was around back when my ex was courting me, but was not nearly as ubiquitous in dating as it is today is texting.
I’ve had numerous girlfriends tell me tragicomedies about texting gone wrong. Break-ups via text, unsolicited pictures of genitals from guys they haven’t even been on a date with yet, intense and personal “conversations” via scattered and misspelled text messages. I. Can’t.
Perhaps I’m being too old fashioned, but I need to talk to a dude at some point. Texting is just not the same as having a back and forth conversation on the phone and obviously it’s no substitute for meeting up in person.
Some of these texting faux pas that my friends speak of have less to do with the medium of texting and more to do with just basic common sense/decency, but still. I too have become more accustomed to texting than calling when it comes to certain things. I have brunch almost every weekend with a friend. We typically set that up via text. We don’t need to talk on the phone to nail down a pre-arranged brunch meet-up. The same thing goes for just saying “hey” to an old college friend or getting a new picture of my newest nephew.
But “deep” conversations about exes or an invitation to a first date? Ol’ boy better pick up the phone. I’ve been advised to not have high expectations on that front, but I don’t consider my expectations to be high. I’m fine with texting as long as it’s used in a practical way. You want to say “what’s up” in the middle of the day because you were thinking about me? Very sweet. You want to have a real conversation with me to talk about my thoughts on where a relationship is or is headed? Pick up that phone.
Although, I do have a much more texty relationship with some of the teens and young adults in my life. We talk about everything and it’s actually kind of fun to go back and read some of those texts and see the evolution of a mentor/mentee relationship or just the maturation of a young person.
If I were to enter into one of these (seemingly awful) text-driven relationships, it might be interesting to see a whole relationship unfold via text. Not interesting enough for me to have even a remote desire to do that, but interesting nonetheless.
For now, I still say, death to text dating. What say you? What are some of your more memorable text dating moments?
Demetria Irwin is a New York City-based freelance writer and editor. Follow her on Twitter, @Love_Is_Dope.