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Friendship BreakupTwenty-five minutes late for drinks. Again. Took two days to respond to a text message last week. Tweets and emails offering meet-up options are ignored. If this were a guy you were seeing, he would have been out the door long ago. But this person is your girl and you still hang tough.

Why?

I’ve had my fair share of flaky girlfriends. For some reason, it always took a while to recognize the one in my circle of lady friends who was just not a good person with whom to continue a friendship.  I had a tendency to chalk it up to “Oh that’s just Mary being Mary” or whatever, but if you’ve made yourself clear to a friend that she has not been pulling up her end of the friendship and nothing has changed, it may be time to let sister girl free.

If someone doesn’t respect your time, she does not respect you. If someone consistently blows you off, but is full of “Hey, girl!” when you see her, trust her actions not her words. If EVERY time you are in need (whether that’s emotional support, financial help, advice or whatever) she seems to never be available? That’s not your girl.

Of course we have all been guilty of being a “bad” friend sometimes. I know I have had periods in my life when I should have been more available to friends as they celebrated or commiserated about certain major life events. But there’s a difference between having off moments and just being a generally crappy individual.

Friendships are hard to break from though. In my experience, it is often more painful and intense than breaking off from romantic relationships.

Have you ever had to “break up” with one of your girls? How did you do it and what did she do that sent you over the edge?

Demetria Irwin is a New York City-based freelance writer/editor. Follow her on Twitter, @Love_Is_Dope.

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