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GrownAre you “grown”?

When you are grown, it means that you are comfortable with your “brand” whether you are the God-fearing church type, the vegan Buddhist, the free-spirited artist or environmentalist, the marketing executive that loves international travel and high-end luxury good or anything in between.

But as grown folk, there are just some dating tips that do not apply to you because you are know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you want in a partner.

If you are in fact grown, take a good look at this list so you can remember which advice to ignore :)

1. Don’t Talk About Politics, Religion, or Anything “Too Heavy” on the First Date

When you are grown, regardless of your age, you have dedicated a lot of your time thinking and developing your financial, spiritual, political, sexual, and professional identities. Within these identities reside your core values and beliefs. So, when you come to a date, expecting you not to talk about topics that are important to you is like asking you to leave a part of yourself at home. Many grown folk, open to love, actually find intellectual banter, the sharing of ideas and passion, refreshing. Conversely, shallow conversations about pop culture, sports, and fashion, do nothing to help you be understood or to stand-out from the dating pool.

2.Men Need to Stick to the “Three-Day” or “Three-Date” Rule

There are various versions of this “three-day” or “three-date” rule: wait three days after meeting her to call; wait three days before agreeing to see her again if you already had a date; wait three dates before you kiss her. The list could go on and on. But for the grown man dealing with the grown woman, they have a completely different operating system. They are taking time out of their busy schedules with a goal of connection and have lived long enough to know that the chemistry of that individual couple dictates the next steps, not a universal dictum.

3. Ladies Should Only Order Skinny Food

Ladies, a simple salad with the dressing on the side and you are passing on the breadbasket? That’s all you are ordering? Really? Well, grown women do not play with their food. I am not saying they go all in with elbows to the side and have swift and frequent rotations of the fork to the mouth. What I am saying is that grown women do not equate little, itty, bitty eating with femininity. They order what looks interesting, what is filling, are open to suggestions, and do not mind sharing their dish with their new friend. And besides, if you have been blessed with beautiful, bountiful, and juicy curves, he and you both know that a steady diet of soup and salad cannot take credit for all of that.

 (Continue Reading @ BMWK…)

Black and Married With Kids - Ronnie and Lamar

 

This post originally appeared on Black and Married With Kids. Republished with permission.

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  • L

    Well I’m glad these tips don’t apply to grown folks because i’ve been breaking these for years. I have one dating rule and that is “be yourself”.

  • southerngirl

    #3 made me laugh. One thing me and the current boo connected over was our love of food. Our first date was at a beach front seafood restaurant. When I was trying to decide between the crab dip or scallops for an appetizer, and he said “Let’s just get both!” I knew we would click ;) A man after my own stomach lol

    He later told me he loves it when a woman can be herself and has a healthy appetite.

  • Simone L

    Amen. And as long as it won’t get stuck in my teeth, I’ll eat anything I damn well please.

  • For me, I want to be my self. If he likes you, he can accept who you are. Eat anything you want.

  • Meetingle Meetingle

    great post , I do feel the same but never stopped trying