Nail SalonAll I wanted to do on Sunday was get a mani/pedi so my nails didn’t look so chipped and busted. Kicking back with a crinkled copy of Allure while Top 40 radio blares overhead is the closet thing modern women have to bliss. But instead of being a zen experience, my local nail salon was railroaded by a horribly rude woman causing drama. Rude Woman apparently needed to have ONLY non-scented lotion used on her skin. Yet, despite it apparently being so important, she didn’t bring any of her own along with her.

Instead, Rude Woman got really snotty with all the employees about whether their lotion was scented or non-scented; she repeatedly talked down to them about whether they had it and why they didn’t. The way Rude Woman was talking — loud, accusatory — seemed to imply these nail salon folks either didn’t understand a lick of English (not true) or were intentionally trying to ruin her day. Other customers and I kept making eye contact during her repeated rants, like, “Can you believe this woman?”

Look. I’m sympathetic to her frustration, sort of.  A lot of nail salons will say anything to you to get you to use their services — my favorite is saying it will just be a five minute wait when it is really more like 20. But Rude Woman was just plain condescending. I was embarrassed for her. I was embarrassed for the employees.

So, Rude Woman, I hope you don’t read The Frisky. But just in case you do, I’ve penned a handy, dandy guide about how not to be awful at the nail salon.

  1. For fuck’s sake, get off your cell phone. I seriously, seriously don’t want to hear you tell your BFF all about your shitty date last night. I want to read my Us Weekly in piece. No matter how quiet you think you are being, you are being REALLY LOUD.
  2. That goes double if you are having a fight with your boyfriend. You realize everyone can hear you, right? Personal dignity. Get some of it.
  3. Don’t be insanely particular about how you want you nails shaped/done. It is one thing to request square or oval nails or to ask the technician not to trim your cuticles. It’s another thing to micromanage your entire manicure.  Yes, you are paying for a service. But you are paying $10 for a service. If you honestly think you can do it better than the professionals, do your own manicure at home because your constant step-by-step instructions are giving me a headache.
  4. Don’t steal nail other people’s nail polish and/or magazines. That polish sitting next to me? I’m going to be using it and no, you cannot use it “real quick.” And those two magazines in my lap? They’re in my lap because I’m going to be reading them.
  5. Leave rowdy children at home. If your adorable and charming children can sit quietly while her mama gets her nails did, by all means bring them along. Heck, it’s really cute when I see a little girl getting her nails done alongside Mommy! But your kids are not allowed to behave like wild banshees. A nail salon is not a jungle gym and everyone wants to smack your rowdy, whining brats when they’re ruining what should be our relaxing experience. It’s still a public place and acceptable behavior is still required.
  6. Leave people alone who look like they want to be left alone. If another customer is reading her magazine/jotting in a notebook/otherwise signaling that they want to be left alone, don’t talk to those people! Friendliness is lovely. But I hate it when people try to chat me up when I’m clearly engrossed in my reading, relaxing.
  7. Say “please,” “thank you” and talk to the staff the way you would speak to anyone else.  Seriously, where have good manners gone? Just because you are paying someone for a service does not mean you are above treating them with courtesy. And remember, these people are shaving dead skin off your nasty scaly feet! They deserve to be thanked.This post originally appeared on The Frisky. Republished with permission.
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