Sexual promiscuity is sexual promiscuity. It’s not bad or good, negative or positive, and certainly not rated by socioeconomic class. It simply is what it is: a sexual behavior. While promiscuous sex has perks, it can definitely roll out consequences. Staying protected is essential, and remaining emotionally guarded is a must, unless you’re naturally polyamorous. Primarily, I encourage all women to be sexually empowered, whether it is with one partner or many. However, I find that there are some double standards when it comes to women of different socioeconomic statuses sexing it up.
I have a question:
Why is it that women of less economical means, aka hood girls, are given the side-eye for sexing men (and sometimes women) by educated, more economically empowered women who exhibit the same type of behavior and “get theirs” just as often?
Most individuals with vaginas are likely to need some on the regular: toy, man, or woman. Sexual urges don’t discriminate by the bank account or college degree. In fact, I’d argue that the urges of all women manifest in similar ways.
During my college years I stayed in Brooklyn (Bed-stuy stand up!). Often, I’d attend typical basement parties on various blocks or hit a local club only to observe some of the deepest woman-on-woman judgment I’ve ever seen in my life. Brooklyn crowds are mixed in terms of socioeconomic class. You have your young professional groups and not-so-professional groups, yet everyone is there to drink, flirt, and have a good time.
There is always that one hood girl: Baby Phat, skirt riding her donk, curled up in some baller-looking-man’s arms, getting just about all the attention in the room.
All of the sudden, there’s this horrible sound of educated women’s faces cracking and contorting. Eyeballs start to roll, teeth suck, and then comments start to fly off the tongue.
“She’s doing too much.”
“That’s so inappropriate.”
“I wish they’d get a room.”
“No class, no class.”
On the other hand, let me party in Manhattan where some of the more “elite” tend to congregate. I’ve observed many educated women who run businesses and organizations during the day and, at the party, practice the same type of behavior as the “hood” girl and no one drops a comment. The attitude seems to be “do you” and I’m going to mind my business while having a good time. Yes, truly it is none of your business and her sexcapade should not be the focus of your attention.
As an educated woman, I’ve frequented both crowds: hood and elite. I’ve gone to parties, flirted very sexually, and, on special occasions, taken some lucky men home with me. Most of the women I know, primarily being educated, have done the same. Yet, let us be in a Brooklyn-style setting and see a hood girl about to get hers and it seems like there is a free fall of judgment. I am the girlfriend who calls people out in my bourgeois circle. Let one smart-ass comment fly about that hood girl boo-loving in the corner and I’m the first to recount the commenter’s random booty call last week. I don’t tolerate women putting down women because of their sexual practices. It’s inappropriate and a detriment to the full empowerment of women across the board.
Promiscuity comes in all shapes, sizes, and classes. College degrees do not give you permission to be a hypocrite and cast judgment. I say even to the committed, monogamous women: hold your tongue. Most women need sexual satisfaction and everyone handles that need differently. No one way is better than the other.
In whatever way you “get yours,” let the next girl “do her” without your vocal and visual lashes.