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Sexual promiscuity is sexual promiscuity. It’s not bad or good, negative or positive, and certainly not rated by socioeconomic class. It simply is what it is: a sexual behavior. While promiscuous sex has perks, it can definitely roll out consequences. Staying protected is essential, and remaining emotionally guarded is a must, unless you’re naturally polyamorous. Primarily, I encourage all women to be sexually empowered, whether it is with one partner or many. However, I find that there are some double standards when it comes to women of different socioeconomic statuses sexing it up.

I have a question:

Why is it that women of less economical means, aka hood girls, are given the side-eye for sexing men (and sometimes women) by educated, more economically empowered women who exhibit the same type of behavior and “get theirs” just as often?

*cricket* *cricket*

Most individuals with vaginas are likely to need some on the regular: toy, man, or woman. Sexual urges don’t discriminate by the bank account or college degree. In fact, I’d argue that the urges of all women manifest in similar ways.

During my college years I stayed in Brooklyn (Bed-stuy stand up!). Often, I’d attend typical basement parties on various blocks or hit a local club only to observe some of the deepest woman-on-woman judgment I’ve ever seen in my life. Brooklyn crowds are mixed in terms of socioeconomic class. You have your young professional groups and not-so-professional groups, yet everyone is there to drink, flirt, and have a good time.

There is always that one hood girl: Baby Phat, skirt riding her donk, curled up in some baller-looking-man’s arms, getting just about all the attention in the room.

All of the sudden, there’s this horrible sound of educated women’s faces cracking and contorting. Eyeballs start to roll, teeth suck, and then comments start to fly off the tongue.

“She’s doing too much.”

“That’s so inappropriate.”

“I wish they’d get a room.”

“No class, no class.”

On the other hand, let me party in Manhattan where some of the more “elite” tend to congregate. I’ve observed many educated women who run businesses and organizations during the day and, at the party, practice the same type of behavior as the “hood” girl and no one drops a comment. The attitude seems to be “do you” and I’m going to mind my business while having a good time. Yes, truly it is none of your business and her sexcapade should not be the focus of your attention.

As an educated woman, I’ve frequented both crowds: hood and elite. I’ve gone to parties, flirted very sexually, and, on special occasions, taken some lucky men home with me. Most of the women I know, primarily being educated, have done the same. Yet, let us be in a Brooklyn-style setting and see a hood girl about to get hers and it seems like there is a free fall of judgment. I am the girlfriend who calls people out in my bourgeois circle. Let one smart-ass comment fly about that hood girl boo-loving in the corner and I’m the first to recount the commenter’s random booty call last week. I don’t tolerate women putting down women because of their sexual practices. It’s inappropriate and a detriment to the full empowerment of women across the board.

Promiscuity comes in all shapes, sizes, and classes. College degrees do not give you permission to be a hypocrite and cast judgment. I say even to the committed, monogamous women: hold your tongue. Most women need sexual satisfaction and everyone handles that need differently. No one way is better than the other.

In whatever way you “get yours,” let the next girl “do her” without your vocal and visual lashes.

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  • yall do know you can have sex without having a baby?

  • nancy

    While I do believe most women need sexual satisfaction and everyone handles that need differently. I don’t necessarily think “no one way is better than another”. Still, this article is true in that it reminds us that none of us are entitled to judge others. Many studies show that though near the same amount of middle class girls get pregnant as poor ones, poor girls are more likely to keep baby and struggle as they do not have a supportive financial environment. When middle class girls get pregnant, they are more likely to give the child over to their parents to raise. So because people see poor girls with their babies and struggling to raise them, people judge them harder. But it has nothing to do with a difference in promiscuity.

    • dbsm

      nancy

      be careful coming round these parts right here droppin knowledge

      it be real dangerous

      :)

    • Anon

      Nope. Not true. I’m hard pressed to think of the girls/women that I grew up with that were having sexual relationships at a young age or even “going out with boys” that involved more adult-like physicality in their relationships amongst the middle or upper classes than poorer girls.

      They tended to NOT have fathers or father figures and were much more willing to do things to secure male attention/protection. There is a reason why you see grown men hanging around “ghetto” high schools than middle-class ones. Those men already know that that is a group of young girls that have a lack in their lives. And are much more likely to keep those children for bonds of affection. I’ve gotten ‘in trouble” for noticing this before, and each time it was by a woman whose mother was knocked up by an older male who met their mother in middle/high school. Several times, I didn’t know that was their scenario, it was only after I lamented about how some black girls were PREYED upon in their communities did it come out that “hey, their dad may have been 24 when he was hooking up with their 16 year-old mom, but, errrbody did that. That outfall was epic, when I noted it wasn’t common in everyday society. Middle class fams aren’t letting their “going to the prom” daughter chill with dudes who should be out of college. Now in like two cases, they waited till the girl was legal, but that wasn’t the standard. A higher than statistical standard of teen mothers are involved with older men (as in out of high school) than women who give birth at say, 19/20. Those children and mothers are judged for reasons… the average tax-payer is more likely to be paying for basic food and shelter for THOSE kids than the educated mom, and for much longer time periods.

  • Must be nice to be able to take someone home whenever you want. THAT is the empowerment women have over men, and is why promiscuous women are “ho’s” and promiscuous men are “studs”. That will NEVER change.

  • This world gets sicker by the minute, truly. There is absolutely nothing good about sexual promiscuity. You can’t be fighting for the right to sleep around at will and then be in a quandary about why STD’s, abortion, poverty and emotional pain are so rampant, especially in our communities. When did this behavior become ok? Yeah argue that you shld be free to do what you want with your bodies, but are you truly free?

  • Trent.

    When you can pay for birth control, are able to afford health insurance, have the ability to get tested for STD’s every 3-to-6 months, AND can EASILY break out (Up to) a few grand for an unexpected pregnancy, THEN, and only then will the looks, and abrasive word be unwarranted.

    A grown woman can handle herself in the face of danger, or the event of a unexpected fetus; most of the time a 16-year-old girl cannot.

    And if she can, and is being responsible with her vagina, I see her as a fully-grown woman, worthy of respect.