Single Moms are a polarizing figure in our society. Some honor and praise them for shouldering the responsibility of raising kids on their own while others try to siphon off the blame for the breakdown of the nuclear family structure onto single Moms. One of the gripes some have with single mothers is that they baby their sons instead of raising them to become responsible adults that one day can be great fathers.

The “Oprah’s Lifeclass” episode about fatherless sons is sparking passionate discussion around absent fathers and single mothers. Essence Music Festival speakers Iyanla Vanzant and Dr. Perry discussed the issue on air. Perry said “Because you raise a Mama’s boy, you got baby’s daddies now,” and Vanzant emphatically agreed, saying “A Mama’s Boy becomes a Baby’s daddy.”

“What happens,” Perry explained, “is so many mothers are allowing these grown man to come back into their homes without their children. You can’t let this man come in there like he doesn’t have children. Push this person out there and make him take care of his children. Otherwise, you can’t come to my house.”

Are black mothers stunting their sons’ growth by babying them? Are mothers the reason men are becoming baby daddies who shirk their parental responsibilities? Can a man become a mature, responsible father if his mom continues to baby him? What do you think, Clutchettes and Gents?



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  • Letting go is hard but it is easier when you know that you have instilled in them a strong foundation on which they have built strong personal values and a core of steel wrapped in strong moral fiber. It is easier to let go when you have raised a man who seeks your guidance not because he cannot make decisions but because he respects your and trust that you will trust and respect his decisions. It is easier to let go when you have raised a boy to become the man.

    I am a single parent. I have two sons.

  • Lou

    I’m glad a discussion was brought to the fore front….. I see it all time and its spoke in private like secret.

  • Common Sense

    The reason there are so many single mothers is because on the whole black men don’t believe in the nuclear family anymore. We are screwed!!!!!!

  • Joe

    Let these so called men go and suck their thumbs. Their behavior and attitude is completely repugnant. I went out with and planned to marry a woman with a son who is a mamas boy and although he was very polite and seemed normal, he was never asked to do anything, and never helped out around the home. This from a grown man 28yrs old.