Basketball Wives

Vh1 dropped the first teaser trailer for the new season 5 of Basketball Bullies Wives, original flavor. But since everyone knows Black America’s favorite ratchet soap opera is Vh1’s other hit show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, (aka “As the Hood Turns”), does the old, boring, drink-throwing antics of Shaunie O’Neal’s gang still have the same appeal?

This season L&HHA actually featured love quadrangles, pregnancy, cheating, a broken engagement, an insane amount of weave, crazy mother-in-laws, a motorbike run over and set on fire, dysfunctional hot pockets, sexual shenanigans, “popcorn hoes,” Joseline Hernandez look-a-likes, really horrible music by Benzino, lots of accusations of men being gay, fights, a cast member going to rehab for weed, a boob job and too many rings and wedding proposals to count. (Life Partner Gang!) Not to mention L&HHA has the best written, staged and edited shots in all of reality television. I can’t see five really snippy women in Louboutins with loose ties to the NBA topping that unless Mona Scott Young pushes Shaunie out the way and does her trashy magic.

Especially when the last season of Basketball Wives Miami was so, so terrible.

Last season was full of bullying, fighting, jumping on tables and the seething dislike nearly all the women seemed to have for each other. Shaunie is “promising,” yet again, a more positive spin this season even though all the non-bullies from season four were fired, and the original Mean Girls core remained.  This latest teaser focuses on Evelyn Lozada’s unfortunate nuptials then divorce from former footballer Chad Johnson after he physically assaulted her less than a month into the marriage. It then features Suzie chuckling at a domestic violence joke made at Evelyn’s expense, so yeeeeah. Positive. Making fun of a battered woman is much more positive than that time Tami Roman screamed at fired season 4 cast member Kesha Nichols for breathing the same air as her.

Check out the teaser below.

So, let’s be real. Who’s actually going to watch this thing and who is done, done, done?

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