gay black men

When I was in high school, a handful of my friends seemed to become lesbians over night.

Back then (the good ol’ days of the late ‘90s) teen girls seemed to be experimenting more and more (or maybe I was just catching on?) with their sexuality, and it seemed like on any given day the home girl you would trade notes with in 5th period about the cutest boys in the class, was now strolling the halls on another chick’s arm.

For a while, I was confused; but I got over it. My friends were gay, and I was fine with that. Fast forward a few years, and now my formerly gay girlfriends are happily married…to men.

While most have accepted that the sexuality of (some) women is fluid, we don’t give men, particularly Black men, the same room to experiment. Once a man sleeps with a man, in most people’s eyes he’s labeled gay forever. End of story.

But is it really?

In a recent post on MUSED magazine, Jared Clemons grapples with this exact question. Like me, Clemons’ formerly gay homies are now married to people of the opposite sex, and it’s forced him to ask, “If a man engages in sexual activity with another man, is he ipso facto bisexual or gay?”

Clemons writes:

Recently, I decided to log into Facebook for the first time in months. Not much has changed: Facebook continues to offer heavy doses of overwrought, polemic statuses about race relations, unnecessary pregnancy announcements and plenty of “thank you God for waking me up this morning” messages.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

At any rate, as I was browsing, I came across something very interesting, as well as something that I see becoming increasingly prevalent as I march closer to that Social Security check the older I get: gay guys I know getting married to women.

Or at least I thought they were gay.

Last year, an interesting study found that “flexible sexual desire” is not only found in women, and a recent Huffington Post article aimed to explain, “Why some straight men are romantically or sexually attracted to other men.”

So let me ask you this, Clutchettes: In your opinion, can a heterosexual man occasionally sleep with men–or ever–and still be considered straight? Speak on it!

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