Last night’s MTV Video Music Awards was a clusterfuck of what the fuckery and cultural appropriation.

There was Katy Perry and her “grill”:

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

Everyone kept on hollering “What’s up Brooklyn” every time they had a chance. Maybe a “What’s Up Gentrified Brooklyn?” would have been more apropos. The only person to represent Brooklyn was Lil Kim’s newest face. Was Jay-Z not available?


But let’s talk about Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus. Just in case you missed it, skip ahead to the 3:00 mark:

Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” hit wasn’t enough to garner him an award. He was shut out in all of the categories he was nominated in. All the while, Marvin Gaye’s family was probably sitting back saying, “Karma’s a bitch”.  Somewhere in America, Billy Ray Cyrus’ achy breaky heart was breaking into pieces.

But not all of the performances were shitastic. Although Justin Timberlake did receive a Vanguard award, did a medley of his hits and even reunited with the other members of N’Sync for 20 seconds:


The performances of the night definitely have to go to Bruno Mars for his performance of “Gorillas” and Kanye West’s performance of “Blood on the Leaves”.  Both of their performances were simple and to the point. Bruno Mars thrusted his pelvis a couple of times and Kanye emoted.

That’s all I got. There’s a new drug out called crackcocaineweedecstacymolliesacid and apparently everyone at the award show was on it. Two hours worth of nothing. Thanks, MTV.

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