Would you change a part of yourself for your partner? Joy Bryant did for a man, and she believed it was a reflection of her love for him. She recently spoke with The Conversation about her new husband, Dave Pope, and revealed that she sacrificed some part of her identity for prior relationships.

She said via Necole Bitchie:

“When I look back…you say that I didn’t attach myself to a guy but I did! If I really liked you, if I had to shave off who I was, a piece of who I was to make you feel better, I’d do it. Because I love you. You know what I mean? If I had to dumb myself down to make you feel better about who you are, I’d do it because I love you.

Once I became ‘cool to date,’ that’s been my entire life until I met my husband. I’ve had awesome affairs and I’ve had relationships and stuff like that. Sometimes it wasn’t so crazy and sometimes it was crazy. If I detected that there was something about me that didn’t really fit the puzzle all the way or whatever, I’ll drop it.”

Some women feel sacrificing themselves or dumbing down their intelligence is too grave a price to pay for companionship. Do you agree, Clutchettes? Or is changing yourself par for the course in a relationship? Discuss.

Watch the video here:


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  • Star

    This is a problem stemming from trillions of years. Right now women all over the planet are smarter than the Husband yet, he gets the credit. If a women has a Kingdom a man will try to tear it down if he isn’t the ruler. Something is wrong with men and this problem needs to be corrected. Men feel like they have to be with women that they are smarter than and can easily control them if not they Will Not be with them. Society an culture has made these men’s actions the Law of the Land. They have done everything they can to keep us dumb and it use to work but now Women are coming into power and we will no longer play the damzille in distress, the I don’t know what i was doing card anymore.

  • The Comment

    I’d do all kinds of going down on this dude.

  • 9Boots

    Not only do I refuse to dumb down my intelligence, I also refuse to throw out my morals!

  • Ads

    It’s not even a matter of ‘should’, it’s that you cannot. It is unbearable to try to hide or contort ur authentic self – either you’ll fail at it and your partner will recognize you as two-faced or you’ll ‘succeed’ and be miserable, exhausted, and resentful that this person doesn’t love or appreciate the real u.

  • eva

    this interview is actually not recently… almost a year old. #imjustsaying