With all of this talk about whether Santa Claus is black or white, people fail to forget the simple fact that Ole Saint Nick doesn’t exist.  Growing up, I never believed some fat man, whether black or white, would come down my non-existent chimney and deliver gifts.  I guess I was the most pessimistic kid ever.

Every Christmas we were simply asked what we wanted and there were even times when went shopping with our parents. There were no surprises or shock value added to Christmas for us.  When I finally had my own child, I contemplated bringing up this mythical Santa Claus idea.  Why should some bearded guy take the credit for all of my hard work and gift wrapping. By gift wrapping, I mean stuffing shit in a bag of course.

When my son was in kindergarten he came home and asked about this Santa dude.  He wanted to know why I never told him about it. Imagine me telling a 5 year-old that his classmates were being lied to by their parents. Well, I did.  Unfortunately, my son relayed this message to his classmates, and I had emails from parents for DAYS! I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the most popular kindergartner after that incident.

I don’t fault parents for teaching their children that Santa Claus does exist, and maybe I should have told my son not to go around bursting his classmates bubbles, but Santa just wasn’t a thing growing up. I’m not the only who never believed in Santa, my niece doesn’t either:

Clutchettes, did you believe in Santa Claus as a kid? If you have children, do they believe in him?

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