At one point in my life just the idea of going out on a date would send panic through my body.

I dreaded them.

With a passion.

The idea of actually sitting through a dinner with someone and the possibility of not having anything to talk about or in common was not something I looked forward to.

But that was until I had the worst date ever.

A couple of years ago I met someone from OkCupid and it was pretty much the best worst date of my life. How could something so bad be so good, you ask? Well to put it lightly, this date in particular provided me with so much fodder that it is still talked about amongst my friends today.

So here’s the abridged version.

Guy meets girl online. Guy sets up date with girl. Guy is late for date with girl. Girl sits patiently for 30 minutes. Guy walks in looking like a homeless person. Guys sits down and smells like a homeless person.

Girl asks, “Dude, what is that smell?”
Guy responds, “I don’t have access to a shower that often”.

Yes, ladies. He was homeless. He used the library to access the internet. Where he browsed OkCupid from.

So I didn’t want to be rude and shit, so I sat there. Half dumbfounded. The other half trying not to act like he smells that bad.

We talked about his homeless situation. Basically, shit happens. Job was lost, which set up a string of unfortunate events.

After an hour of conversation, the guy excuses himself to the bathroom.

A few minutes go by and I’m sitting there and all I can do is laugh. This dude apparently left. He ate and ditched.

My waiter came and asked what happened to my guest and I explained he was homeless. The waiter looked at me as if I was the crazy one and then all he could do was laugh.

Going out on a date with a homeless man broke me out of my dating hate shell. Now I actually look forward to every date I have an opportunity to go on.

Some of my friends say I date a lot and wonder how do I keep up with all of them. It’s pretty easy actually. There are those memorable ones that end up being great stories and friendships. Those are the ones worth keeping up with.

Sure, not every date turns into some sort of romance and I’m perfectly fine with that. But there are those dates that will always make for great fodder and ice breakers on other dates.

Clutchettes, what’s your best worst date story?

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