Sexual fetishes are somewhat a taboo subject around some parts.  What goes on behind closed doors is something a lot of people don’t care to discuss, at least publicly. But boy, oh boy. A simple internet search can lead you down the rabbit hole of fet life.  Sure, most people have heard of the most common fetishes involving things like feet, leather, body piercings and wax, but those are just the tip of the iceberg.

Have you heard of cake fart fetishes? No, it has nothing to do with cake, but everything to do with flatulence. Eproctophilia aka “cake farts” is the sexual attraction to human flatulence. Typically in cake fart videos a person plops down on a cake and lets one rip.  Yes, disgusting.

But not all fetishes are that asinine sounding. Or can actually be spelled or pronounced. There are people out there in the world who can only “get off” with the use of a stuffed teddy bear. Sure, it would be easy to call it a teddy bear fetish, but it goes by “ursusagalmatophilia.” Say that ten times really fast. Ursusagalmatophiliacs will modify a teddy bear or plush toy so they can receive gratification from it.  Yeah, not an image you may want to have in your head.

Recently, Ask Men compiled their top 10 list of fetishes that men have. Although the respondents to their unofficial survey were men, there may be one or two that I indulge in myself:

10. Stomachs

Men and women both agreed that taut tummies make them somewhat crazy. But others said that they would never bed a potential partner if their tummies protruded or hung loosely.  Some guys weren’t as picky and admitted that they liked it when a woman had a tummy with a teensy-weensy little pot. One gentleman was very adamant about needing to release himself on a woman’s stomach or his experience simply wouldn’t be pleasurable.

9.Body piercing

This one was quite popular with the younger crowd (18-35). Everything from bellybuttons, tongues and nipples to eyebrows and penises was not only acceptable, but for a specific few, it was a prerequisite. One guy told us that he loves tongue rings because after being pleasured by a girl who had one, he couldn’t go back to the “ordinary.” The feeling of the cool object rubbing against his penis while her hot mouth engulfed him “felt like heaven.”

8.Leather, rubber, vinyl, latex

Men seem to love material; perhaps not the actual feel of it, but the rather pornographic quality it gives to a sexual encounter. Although men look to settle down with a sweet woman, most will forever have a fixation with that “bad girl” look.  “Watching a woman move around in anything tight and shiny is a tease in itself,” says one gentleman. Another man told me that his girlfriend’s entire wardrobe consists of latex and leather.

7.Domination and submission

To my amazement, most women dominate and most guys submit. HELLO! A lot of women said they love to order their men around in bed like slaves and spank them, smack them, and even penetrate them with a strap-on.  Guys, on the other hand, enjoy submitting to women and being told what to do. I guess most of them are probably tired of performing all the time. Everything I mentioned that the women do — well, the men enjoy having those things done to them. Welcome to the new millennium.

6.Feet and hands

You knew this fetish was coming didn’t you? Men enjoy licking, sucking,kissing, and biting women’s feet almost exclusively. Some guys simply can’t date a woman if she has ugly feet or toes.  Women, I was surprised to learn, love to suck on men’s fingers and some can even orgasm off that alone. “There’s something about pleasuring a man’s finger as though it was a penis that gives me orgasmic pleasure,” said one woman from Seattle.

5.Fingernails and lipstick

It’s the cliche of the ’80s: red lipstick and long, red-lacquered fingernails. Well, guess what? Some guys are still obsessed with that whole thing. They enjoy feeling a woman’s nails running down their backs.  As well, they like kissing a woman and smudging her lipstick all over both their faces. Why? Because it gives them the feeling of having adulterated sex, i.e. sex with a prostitute.

4. Braids, ponytails, pigtails

Hair, it’s no surprise, was a very big fetish among guys. Blond, brunette, redheaded, braided, long, short, thick, curly, straight… you name it, they thought of it. But braids, pigtails and ponytails caught my attention. I have two theories as to why some men are into pigtails.  First, they have a preference for younger women (to say the least) and because of the illusion that pigtails and ponytails emanate, the fetishists feel as though they are fulfilling their desires.  Second, when the hair is tied up in these various ways, it could resemble a whip, to a certain extent. “Women can whip me with their hair: the ultimate turn-on.” said one man from Boston. I can definitely see the latter example as working.  Some women have a fetish involving no hair: bald men. They love rubbing a man’s bald head whilst in a passionate embrace. Did you hear that Costanza ? You’re actually preferred by women.

3. Water

Believe it or not, many variants of water were popular with both men and women. Many women declared that they enjoyed sex best when they could hear or be in running water. Whether it be rain, the shower or even an opened faucet — so long as they heard water of some sort.  Although it’s not exactly water, many women (and some men) absolutely obsess over thunder and lightning. “The powerful sound and the sudden flashes of light give my body a feeling of empowerment. My husband and I make plans to meet whenever we know that a storm is in effect,” said a woman from Colorado.

2. Golden showers

I know this one doesn’t sound very inviting, but it was a popular one. Some guys love to watch a woman urinate on them as a method of foreplay. Other guys like to relieve themselves on women before they can actually get down to business.  Why? Well, the reason for this also deals with submission. Being peed on is somewhat degrading and if you allow someone to do it to you, then you’re submitting and if you do it to someone else, then they are succumbing to you.

1. Voyeurism and exhibitionism

A lot of guys admitted that they couldn’t get off with their partner unless they were watching pornography or another couple in the act. Even if they witnessed two people having sex or caught some erotic movies on television accidentally (yeah, right) when not with their partner, they had to masturbate. Only a minute amount of women admitted that they are voyeuristic to the point where they needed to see sex whilst engaging in it. Oddly enough, however, quite a few women like being watched . One woman from New Orleans wrote, “I make sure to open the blinds fully before I make love with my partner.”

Clutchettes, do you have any fetishes?

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