Screen Shot 2014-01-25 at 4.42.47 AMThere’s nothing controversial about getting all the girls together for a bachelorette party or a milestone birthday party, but what about an all XX chromosome gathering just for the heck of it?

New York Magazine contributor Ann Friedman pondered just that question for a recent piece.  Friedman notes that the impetus for what is now an annual gathering stemmed from a desire a few years ago to celebrate her 30th birthday.

“Which is how I came to spend last week in a resort in the desert outside Palm Springs with a group of 45 women, no agenda, and no men. It’s nothing salacious: We wear muumuus. We eat a lot of cheese. We take a lot of naps. We invent cocktails. We dance,” shared Friedman.

That sounds pretty fantastic, but Friedman pointed out that it not everyone dived in with fem friendly awesomeness. “Many of the women who attended told me they’d initially been skeptical. “I hang out with dudes all day long — women are not part of my everyday,” said one friend who works in a male-dominated industry, “so I wasn’t sure how I would mingle.” Could a large women-only group really not devolve into Mean Girls cliquishness? Would we just sit around and talk about men the whole time anyway? There were also fears on the other end of the spectrum: Would this be some weird cult where we’d be pressured to sit around and braid each others’ pubic hair while listening to Joni Mitchell? All fears unfounded,” wrote Friedman.

That last part delves into hella white thoughts, but you get her point.  Black women would be more concerned with delving into wine glass tossing, shade throwing Real Housewives territory than Joni Mitchell land.

A few years ago, I got with some girlfriends for a trip to Las Vegas. There were about eight of us. Half of them were very good friends and the other half were friends of friends/people I didn’t know at all. Most of us were turning 30 that year, hence the celebration. In short, it was a light-weight disaster for me. There were too many opinions, too many pre-conceived notions and too much group-think. What I got from that experience was that I am too much of a loner for trips with big groups of people, regardless of gender dynamics. I just simply cannot with a rigid itinerary.

What’s your experience with ladies only events? Can you handle it?

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.

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