Over the last two months I’ve seen seven engagement posts on Facebook. Considering that I only have 250 people on my friend’s list, that’s a pretty substantial number. It’s gotten so bad, with all of the wedding talk I found myself looking at wedding dresses over the weekend. I don’t even know why. I don’t even have a boyfriend. Just a boy-toy. God, I hope he’s not reading this (*waves* to him).
Oh, but here’s the dress:
I just wished she hadn’t hitched it up.
But in saying all of this. Are you the type to wonder when you’ll get married? Or when you should have gotten married? Well, the good folks over at TIME decided to help you out with that. You know, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Why not make people feel bad about being single?
Oh. The. Pressure.
“Watching the parade of our friends’ major life events makes us both envious and lonely,” says TIME’s Chris Wilson. Envious and lonely? That’s assuming a bit much. TIME’s new Facebook app analyzes all of your friend’s life events and uses that information to predict when you’ll get married.
So I tested out the app. And remember up top, I said there’s been seven engagements? So I figured why not check it out:
Here were my results:
Ain’t that some bullshit? I don’t have enough married friends for them to come to a conclusion as to when I’ll head to a small island and get hitched. Yes, I’m only interested in a destination wedding. Kill two birds with one stone.
This application measures the median age of your married friends, meaning the person for whom half your married friends are younger and half are older. Because you are probably friends with a lot of people close to your age, this figure will theoretically identify whether you have passed the point where many of your contemporaries start tying the knot. It will work better for some than others.
For the purposes of this tool, “married” refers to anyone who lists his or her relationship status as “married,” “engaged,” “in a domestic partnership,” or “in a civil union.” We’re aware that some people use this status facetiously. Since the distribution of your friends’ ages tends to form a bell curve centered on your own age, a few jokesters shouldn’t throw off the figure drastically.
This app only counts friends who list their date of birth, including the year. In testing, TIME found that this amounted to about 25 percent of all profiles, but that will vary from user to user.
This made me scroll through my Facebook “friends” to see how many of them were actually married. Out of 250, only 31 people had the proverbial ball and chain, but not to many had their status set as “married” or visible. Maybe I’ll try this next year when those seven people finally get hitched. And hope that none of the 31 have ended their marriage.
Head over to the app & let us know your results!
TIME, Facebook, marriage, valentine’s day