“I’m sooo busy!”

I’m soooo over this phrase. So over it I want to throw something when a person says it. Usually at them. I’msooo busy is code for, “I don’t care enough about you to remember to text or call or see you.” Telling someone you’re sooo busy isn’t an excuse. It’s an insult.

You know who’s busy? Doctors. Doctors are busy. You know who else? New mothers. I would not trade places with them for a minute. Everyone else? Nope.  You’re really not that busy.

We all want to think we’re that busy. But, we’re usually busy playing Candy Crush or perusing other people’s “busy” lives on Facebook or watching “Scandal.” We’ve become too lazy to pick up the phone and get back to someone.

There’s a certain courtesy in returning people’s texts and calls. Something our grandparents knew how to do. They would handwrite a letter, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. That takes real effort. They knew how to pick up a rotary phone and call someone back using their voice. What do we do?

Reply to a text with an, “I’m sooo busy. Tlk 2 u soon!” and punctuate it with smiley face emoticon. People are forgetting what it means to be courteous of other’s feelings. Especially, when exercising it towards the people you’d rather not talk to. Those are the people you need to talk to first, if only to let them that you don’t want to talk to them ever again. This seems to be the biggest issue when it comes to dating.

I’ve started doing this thing when a guy who’s interested in me, but I don’t want to talk to ever again, texts or calls. Instead of ignoring his call or text, I act like an adult and tell him flat out that he “seems like a really nice person, but I’m not romantically interested.” It feels a little sterile at first but I tell you what, every guy I’ve said this to has been completely flattered that I took the time to tell him the truth instead of, “I’m soooo busy right now. I’m just not sure when I can get together.”

All anyone really wants is to be respected and that’s what honesty does. It makes everyone feel respected This can apply to almost anyone you don’t want to talk to. Interchange “romantically” with the appropriate adverb and you have the respectful send off for all beings.

So, what happens when you are actually busy? For whatever reason you’re up to your ears in obligations and you haven’t even checked your phone in days. Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that has probably never happened. Most of us regard our phones like electronic appendages. But, when people do get busy, a little common courtesy really does the trick.

Step aside from your business and handle your calls and texts with another little phrase that seems to work: “Hey, I’ve received your text/call/Snapchat. I will to get back to you when I can give you my full attention. I’ll be in touch very soon!”

Tell the truth! Acknowledge that you’ve received their call then get back to doing whatever it is you have to do. It can put you back on the fast track to handling things in your life like a real professional grown up.

So, the next time someone tells you they’re sooo busy smile politely and tell them to fuck off. Or don’t do that. Stand up straight, put your shoulders back and let them know there’s no rush and that they can get back to you when they can. Try your best not to feel insulted. And know that what you put out you’ll receive back eventually, and hopefully it’s a return phone call.


The Frisky

This post originally appeared on The Frisky. Republished with permission.

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