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Nia LongNia Long is currently making the rounds promoting her new movie The Single Moms Club, which is the new Tyler Perry movie that doesn’t include Madea.  On Friday’s  Oprah’s Lifeclass, Long spoke about being a single mother with  Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah. One of the subjects they touched upon was dating as a single mother.  Long discussed a first date that changed her mind about when is the appropriate time to introduce a child to the person you’re dating:

“I actually do have a funny story. My son was a bout two. I had just broken up with his dad and I said, ‘You know what? I’m going to go out and I am going to reclaim my sexy!’ This gentleman came and I said, let’s do a group date. I didn’t want to do a one-on-one thing. Let’s do a group date. So I called my sister and I said, ‘You’re going on my first date with me.’ I was living in New York at the time. We walk out of the apartment, he’s in this big truck like a Suburban, but it was a driver and a car. And I was like, ‘Oh he’s fancy.’ We get in the car and my 2-year-old goes, ‘My daddy has a big ol’ blue truck and it’s faster than this one!’ I just went ‘Oh my goodness.’ So they know. They know. Even when you try to hide it, when you try to pretend like, ‘This is just mommy’s friend’ they know. That guy didn’t last so him and his truck went bye bye, but what it did teach me was to introduce kind of early.”

As a single mother, I tend to take a different stance on when to introduce someone to a child.  On a recent column for  The Root , I wrote about dating as a single parent and the precautions a single mother or dad should make before introductions. Personally, I don’t rush into introducing someone to my son, and for as long as I’ve been dating, he’s only met two people and that was months after dating and a monogamous relationship was established.

Clutchettes, when do you think a child should be introduced to their parent’s boyfriend or girlfriend?

Actress Nia Long’s Awkward Dating Moment

Nia Long, one of the stars of Tyler Perry’s upcoming movie The Single Moms Club, is no stranger to raising children on her own. She has navigated the dating world for years as a single mother of two boys, and she’s learned many lessons along the way. Watch as Nia shares how an awkward moment between her 2-year-old son and a former date taught her that children understand more about adult relationships than we might think.

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  • MyThoughts

    Children can form attachments very quickly and be hurt when the person their parent is dating suddenly isn’t around anymore because the relationship has cooled.

    Until it is clear that the person is going to be around, introductions can wait.

  • This isn’t very popular but my stance is no re-marrying until the kids are grown and out. Neither parent should introduce the kids to their dates.

    All of the studies show that step-families are bad for kids. They get one shot at a childhood but parents can only find another spouse, and another, and another……

  • geenababe

    People change more than the weather so I don’t think it’s a good idea to introduce your kid/s to someone you just started dating. Your relationship could be going good then on the sixth date you start falling out with each other. It’s could also led to multiple people going in and out the child/rens lives.

  • noirluv45

    I have encountered many children that know every man their mother dates as “Uncle so and so.” It’s Uncle Charlie today, and then he’s gone, and then Uncle Bill follows behind. I don’t think that’s good for children.

    I also believe that having multiple people in and out a child’s life can be dangerous. I don’t think a child should be introduced to a significant other until the dating party is very, very acquainted with the person, and by that I mean background/criminal checks.

    • I never understand why some women had their kids refer to their dating partners as their uncle, friend would be better. So when the mother is kissing her date the kids would think she is commenting insect with her brother.