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On a typical night I’ll come home from work and the gym with a bag full of fresh groceries to a husband that is winding down from a crazy workday himself, ready for a good meal. The routine is simple, greet him, put away the groceries, shower, cook dinner, and finally it’s Netflix time. It’s a simple routine, but it’s ours. He and I have binge watched The Wire, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Orange is The New Black, and most recently, House of Cards. It is to the point now where I don’t even have the patience to watch a show week to week. (But Game of Thrones, do hurry back. I cannot wait any longer.)

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He and I spend many a night curled up on the couch enjoying commercial-free streaming TV while we let our food and wine settle.  We are truly enjoying each other’s presence even if we aren’t engaged in conversation. Just enjoying the peace of pleasing one another is enough. Last night we went to bed early with the intention of rising early, only to get into a discussion around the mysterious missing Malaysian plane. So we went down the Google rabbit hole playing detective trying to figure it out. This then turned into a power watching session of “Between Two Ferns” on his iPhone. How does this happen? I have no idea. Our weekends are all over the place. Either we’re catatonic on the couch after crazy morning hours at the gym, we’re cleaning up while dancing around, we’re out at a community event, or we’re out-of-town living the party life. We do what we want*.

It’s like that when you don’t have kids.

1380335_10103604876445553_952692681_nHe and I have been married for a mere 6 months. While we dated for 3 years prior to our marriage (2 prior to engagement), things felt different once we tied the knot. It was the truth that “forever” is such a concrete idea and with that it became glaringly obvious that we have plenty of time. Our family and friends playfully pick at us about when we’re going to have kids, and I hear them. I know I’m not getting any younger and my eggs are steady cooking, but I still feel like I have time. My career is taking off, his career is taking off, I don’t see why we have to slow down just yet. I don’t think that’s selfish, I just think it is important to us that we’re focused on bringing our children into a world that we’ve carefully prepared for them. They say you are never ready, but for us we’d at least like to be more ready than we are today. Just the other day we booked tickets for our vacation in Greece this summer. We did so not worrying about daycare or pining for wee ones that we’ll miss while we spend a week drinking champagne in Mykonos and dipping our toes in the Aegean off the coast of Athens. Right now we’re floating, carefree and excited about one another. We’re enjoying whimsical vacations, late nights talking about nothing, and late mornings getting ready for the day while blaring Pharrell. This is our choice, and we’re happy with it.

If it is selfish though, we’ll take that. When we finally do have children we’ll raise them to love and live life with the same passion and ferocity that their parents did. We won’t hold them back from seeing the world because it’s what we did. We will cherish every moment we have with them because we waited so patiently to bring them here. Don’t get me wrong, cute little bouncy babies are absolutely in our future and we are very much looking forward to it. But I can understand when I see childless couples and they shrug away the questions around their reproductive choices. I don’t judge those that choose childlessness. There’s something to solitude and only worrying about oneself.

In the meantime, The Beau and I have a beautiful niece and nephew that we absolutely cannot get enough of. We have a handful of infant cousins that are always welcome to spend a weekend at The Walton’s. We have plenty of friends with newborn preciousness that we’ll gladly take off their hands for a few hours.

Just so long as we can give them back. :)

 

*Super disclaimer. Kids are awesome and we get that they don’t completely stop your life. We also get that having children can increase the happiness and joy in your life. We get all of that. We support our friends and family that have all the kids.

Jennifer Walton b.k.a The Corner Office Diva is a quarter-time blogger living in the Midwest. A true Southern girl by roots, she’s got her career, her husband, her pumps, and her passport. Follow her @JGRunsTheCity and theCornerOfficeDiva.com 

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  • Been married 10 years with a five year-old and our nightly routine is the same. When the little one is older, we’ll bring along a sitter/MIL and again, do the same thing. The choice to get married and have kids aren’t the end of fun but if a couple can’t see themselves with kids it’s definitely for the best to not have them.

    (It’s nice to read of my people having fun though lol)

  • Ebony

    I’m pretty sure I went to college with this writer! Either way, I’m glad to read about someone who feels the same way I do!

  • ummera

    that is great and all. i’m twenty-five two kids and one on the way. my husband and I had 7 solid months alone together. We have our moments when were all like “ugggggh, these kids!” but life truly wouldn’t be as magical without them. we are comforted by the fact that in a few short years our children will be grown and we’ll be able to really do what we want, while those that “waited” till after 30 to start having babies are in the thick of adolescence with their children. or worse, women waiting to have babies may find out that that when they do decide to have children, they’ve waited too long and things don’t go as smoothly. it hurts to know that people associate children with shackles and chains. they are not. I can do whatever I please. if my husband and i want to spend two weeks in Greece we can do so, we’ll just have to leave the kids with a very willing grandma. no issues there at all.

    to each his own.

  • MissB

    @ Ummera I was with you up to the point when you said “or worse, women waiting to have babies may find out that that when they do decide to have children, they’ve waited too long and things don’t go as smoothly.” I am 34 no kids, never been pregnant. I’m saying that to say some people wait to have children for various reasons. Career oriented, waiting for marriage, or just haven’t met someone they deem as worthy to mix blood with. Also, let me point out that people always say that waiting can contribute to birth defects etc. But I actually know more women who have had abnormal pregnancies, or a child with birth defects when they were in their early 20′ and 30’s. I’m saying that to say if your going to have complications that can happen no matter how young or old you are. No disrespect, it’s just this post came on the heels of a conversation I just had with another young lady who is also in her 30′ s with no kids.