This past Friday, veteran sports commentator Stephen A. Smith sparked a firestorm of controversy around statements he made on ESPN’s “First Take” on domestic violence.  In his discussion with Skip Bayliss around the two-game suspension the NFL gave Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice last week for knocking out and dragging his then fiancee’ (and now wife), Janay Palmer, out of an elevator, Smith attempted to say something insightful on the prevention of domestic violence.

“What I’ve tried to employ the female members of my family, some of who you all met and talked to and what have you, is that again, and this what, I’ve done this all my life, let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions.”  The core premise of his otherwise meandering statement was crystal clear:  Victims need to make sure they do their part not to provoke an attack.

The response to his statement on social media was swift and furious.  For hours he was barraged by men and women of all races on the fallacy of his position.  And when he followed up later on Twitter, he mansplained how his words were taken out of context while essentially doubling down on the one that got him into trouble in the first place:  “But what about addressing women on how they can help prevent the obvious wrong being done upon them?”

Smith stepping into a pile of ish when it comes to women isn’t new. In the past he’s tweeted support for known perpetrators of abuse such as Floyd Mayweather and when former football player Chad Johnson was arrested for headbutting then wife Evelyn Lozada, he diverted attention from Johnson’s attack to his victim by saying“There are plenty of instances where provocation comes into consideration, instigation comes into consideration, and I will be on the record right here on national television and say that I am sick and tired of men constantly being vilified and accused of things and we stop there. I’m saying, “Can we go a step further?” Since we want to dig all deeper into Chad Johnson, can we dig in deep to her? …. She is the one that is seen on TV constantly having to be restrained from physical confrontation … because she isn’t someone who knows how to walk away.”

But the purpose of this article isn’t to explore the pathology of Stephen A. Smith. It’s not to outcry the fact that Rice was given a lighter sentence for abusing his wife then players receive for testing positive for marijuana.

There is a problem in the media, and SAS is just a prism.  There is a fundamental disrespect in the industry for Black women that is revealed whenever a reporter, be that man or woman, negates our value and essentially says we are responsible for our abuse.  In fact, the media is an industry that REWARDS violence, misogyny and racism. Case in point:  look at the plethora of reality television spinoff shows given to the female cast members who exhibit the most violent and dysfunctional behavior.  And in spite of his pattern of vilifying victims of abuse, it was quietly announced this weekend that SAS will soon be hosting his own show on SIRIUS radio.

Smith’s comments, while disturbing and irresponsible aren’t an anomaly. They are a reflection of the lack of value the media places on Black womanhood in general.  They are a mirror for the values of the men who run these companies, the talent they employ, and our society’s views on women and violence at large.

Just look at how the media has covered the murders of Renisha McBride and Rekia Boyd.  The bias against domestic violence victim Marissa Alexander or how the murder/suicide of Kasandra Perkins and her estranged boyfriend, NFL player Jovan Belcher played second fiddle to his tortured state of mind when he shot the mother of his child 9 times.

I could cite example after example of media bias to support my assertion, but I don’t have all night. The real question is why does the media continue to minimize and devalue Black womanhood?

There are a confluence of factors that contribute to the issue, profit, racism and sexism being the easiest to point a finger at.  But when it specifically comes to violence against women of color, the omnipresent victim blaming or worse, complete erasure of the victim in the news, this largely stems from the values of the individuals who run these institutions. Our culture’s demonization of Black women is rooted in one’s own experiences and values around victimization as well as living in a culture that rewards violence.


(Continue Reading @ The Truth in Reality ….)


Sil Lai Abrams is a writer, inspirational speaker, domestic violence activist, and author of ‘No More Drama. She is also the founder of Truth in Reality, a media advocacy organization committed to changing the way Black women and interpersonal violence are portrayed on reality television. Follow her on Twitter at @Sil_Lai and @TruthInReality_


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  • binks

    I am not surprised that his mouth finally wrote him a check his butt can’t cash, Stephen Smith has said other side eye worthy things about black women and the black issues in general. Sad that it had to take a white woman to finally call him out to make his words go viral. But sadly a lot of people share his idiotic view that the victim must have done “something” to provoke their attacker than questioning the attacker and their predisposition to use violence to solve their problems…

    • Michael Lewis

      Old post but interesting suggestion that his comment about women not hitting men is an excuse to justify abuse. I saw his point as why would she hit him given her knowledge of his temperament and potential to respond abusively.

      She is smaller and not capable of overpowering him physically but mental abuse that’s probably not the same case.

  • ♎Lauren♎

    I think you missed the larger point. No one is saying violence is right. Yes, people should keep their hands to themselves. The person merely expressed that if a man can resist the pressure of retaliating against a police officer and “being provoked” why can’t he do the same in a situation with a woman. Despite the fact that police can legally retaliate, a man is still being extremely provoked and he knows it’s wrong to strike back at the police. Couldn’t the same be said if he’s “being provoked” by his woman? Isn’t it wrong to hit back in that situation too?

  • Did anyone actually hear what he said or is everyone going by what people said? I think the brother is a arrogant individual who is high on himself. But someone show me where he placed blame on women? He used the word “provoke.” But not once did he say WOMEN provoked. In fact, he said “we” as a society.

    And like the article says, what about the media that portrays black women in a negative light in terms of these “reality” shows? Let’s keep it 100. We are bashing this dude for an opinion (that is totally different than what he actually said) but we’re quiet on these shows and other acts of violence we do to ourselves.

    This should be about Ray Rice and not about Stephen A Smith. Rice is the one who is sliding under the radar with everyone on Stephen A Smith for something he actually didn’t say.

  • Where did SAS actually say that women provoke violence? I watched the video 6 times (real talk) and never heard where he said that.

    This should be about Ray Rice and not about Stephen A Smith. Rice is the one who is sliding under the radar.