Last night I settled onto the couch for two hours of VH1’s newest series of foolery, “Atlanta Exes.” Don’t judge me. Or judge me. It doesn’t matter. I’m a grown woman I can do whatever I want. So somewhere in the middle of the second episode, apparently Kevin Hart told the world, via social media of course, that he had proposed to his long term girlfriend, Eniko Parrish.
Naturally social media was on fire. What other reaction would have been appropriate? People just had to tell Kevin Hart about himself and the nerve of his proposal on that day at that time. Ohhhh the shade he was (apparently and obviously) serving! At the core of the “outrage” seemed to be that Hart knew that “Atlanta Exes,’ which features his ex-wife Torrei Hart, was on at the very same time that he made the announcement. Let’s just ignore the fact that it also happened to be his girlfriend, now fiancee’s, birthday.
I read some of the comments on both Twitter and Instagram. It ranged from simple ‘congratulations’ to folks telling Hart that the marriage was going to be doomed because allegedly Parrish had an affair with him while he was still married. There are great things about social media, but one of its biggest challenges is that it allows for a false sense of intimacy.
This is especially true when we look at how it seemingly bridges the gap between regular person and celebrity. Suddenly the chasm between you doesn’t seem as wide as you watch your favorite celebrity post pictures of his or her everyday moments. Hey you like tacos, too! You wear pajamas, too! You take in the bed selfies, too! People then think that they have a right to just tell a famous person about themselves. Hurt feelings, be damned. I mean have you ever watched Jimmy Kimmel where he has celebrities read mean tweets that have been sent to them? People can be cruel. And dare I say a little cray cray.
As I read some of the paragraph length comments on Instagram, I started to wonder, were all y’all married to Kevin Hart? Somehow everyone had all of this insight into his current relationship, his former marriage, and everything in between. People were putting Miss Celie type curses on Hart, his fiancée, and their marriage, as if they were the ones who had been cheated on and lost a husband.
But maybe they were.
What kind of baggage and scars do people bring to other people’s situations – friend, foe, and stranger alike? There seemed to be a lot of bitterness emanating from quite a few posts directed at Hart and his love. There were several, who hurt you boo moments. Like seriously, are you ok? Because bag lady, you gon’ hurt your back dragging all those bags like that.
It probably didn’t help that at the moment Hart was announcing his engagement, Torrei was on “Atlanta Exes” literally crying about his infidelity and how she doesn’t think his current woman should have access to their children. It was a hard moment to watch because there was obvious pain and disappoint not just in their marriage dissolving, but also what it would mean for her children and her idea of family.
Many women (raises hand) have been in similar places and spaces. Hearts hurt, torn, and broken. Sometimes it seems that men have taken the best parts of us, moved on with them, and now they are off somewhere with a new woman, having their cake, plus some ice cream and pie on the side. I don’t want to say that Hart is at the pinnacle of his career because who knows what the future holds, but he’s definitely at the top of the game. It seems like he’s everywhere – movies, television, commercials. And how hard must it be for an ex-wife to watch that? To watch someone rise and rise, knowing that you were there in the beginning, during the struggle, being the encourager, the loving wife, the mother, the one holding it down.
This is only what we can assume, these are the hurt feelings and emotions we can only project, because we weren’t there. There are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the shades of gray. So we can only guess, surmise, and wonder while Kevin and Torrei Hart handle their own truths in their own way. Sure with the TV show and the social media showing off and showdowns, it seems that we are getting a front seat view to the ups, downs, changes, and turnarounds of their triangle. So, in between jabs and put downs from the public, it’s easy to forget that they’re human. Just like us.