By now you’ve probably heard that Steve Harvey has started a new online dating site, Delightful. Harvey has said that the site will cater primarily to women, but also to men who are looking to settle down. As an example, advice for the ladies will include “how to become more dateable.” For men, there will be advice and instructions on treating a woman right. Ummm…ok?

I’m not sure why a dating site that’s supposed to help women find a man would mainly cater to women. Like why are women the only ones who need instructions on how to be more “dateable?” How do men learn this? Through osmosis? Oh that’s right they don’t. It’s just assumed that because you’re a man with a job and a car and any other materialistic symbol, then you’re probably dateable enough. You don’t need to change your behavior. Let’s put it all on the woman!

People like to point to statistics and say that the pickings for Black women are slim so they should just lower their standards and stop being picky. Say what? Can we at least have the men who knock on our door and sniff at our dress come with the bare minimum? All mean aren’t dateable just because they’re breathing.

Here are a few things that Steve Harvey could teach men to do when they’re out here in these dating streets.

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  • Jo ‘Mama’ Besser

    You have a man who has the temerity to believe that he has a right to shape women’s personalities and actions to cater to his own desires and he’s being victimized by uppity women?

    According to Harvey, it’s the man’s ‘job’ to catch the woman and it’s the woman’s ‘job’ to keep him. I guess that’s why it was okay for him to cheat on his first two wives, because they weren’t servile enough to remain his perpetual footstools when he had the profound decency to compliment their dresses once.

    What he’s saying is that women are fundamentally disposable, so they’d better toe the line, lest they find themselves replaced with a more compliant femme-bot. What then? Alack the day!

    Is that ACTUALLY what men want? Do they want someone who is never herself because she doesn’t trust that a man is capable of truly loving women unless they do their ‘jobs’? That sounds like conditional love to me. What does that say about Harvey’s thoughts on men? It sounds to me that he thinks they are children who can’t handle–or shouldn’t want to–anything beyond a pliable surface and I think he does a disservice to both men and women by re-affirming and re-inscribing rigid ideas about what makes a relationship successful, which is essentially play-acting to him.

    If a guy just wants sex and not a relationship, you’re not going to find yourself in a relationship. And if guys don’t want relationships, that makes this whole thing a fool’s errand, no?

    He actually had the nerve to say that men won’t be interested in the site unless they are one of the few who have the ‘womanly’ interest of seeking out a long-term relationship. So, if in his estimation, men overwhelmingly DO NOT want to be in long-term relationships and women overwhelmingly DO want to be in them, doesn’t it follow that the site is a primer on how to trick a man into loving you? What kind of man or woman wants that? He’s got it all figured out, all women are one way and all men (save the strange exceptions) are another.

    Where does he get off trying to ‘train’ women? Survey says: NOWHERE!