With examples of personal life stories from some of the most successful women in the world such as Valerie Jarrett, senior advisor and assistant to President Barack Obama for Intergovernmental Affairs and Public Engagement, and with the help of cutting-edge research, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman offers insightful information about confidence in their book The Confidence Code .
After reading the book, I decided to tally up a few vital things women should stop doing NOW.
1. Stop deflecting and own your accomplishments. Often we attribute our success as pure luck. However, by refusing to take credit for what we’ve achieved we are not nurturing our confidence.
2. Don’t allow failure (or setbacks) linger too long. Easier said than done, I know. This too is not my strong suit, but the longer we allow our setbacks to linger the harder it is to bounce back.
3. Stop being “typically silent.” According to a study conducted at Princeton University, women speak 75 percent less than men. If a man enters the room filled with women he will talk just as much as he always does. Conversely, women will not. Remember your words are equally as valuable. Let’s muster up the nerve to spit them out.
4. Stop defining yourself through other’s achievements. In this day of Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, it is all too easy to compare ourselves to others. As stated in the Confidence Code, comparing ourselves to others is “chasing fool’s gold.”
5. Stop assuming it’s not up to you to recognize your talents. If we don’t recognize our talent—in a respectful manner of course—then who will? We cannot sit around hoping our boss will acknowledge how hard we’ve worked and offer us a promotion. As rapper Ace Hood eloquently stated, “closed mouths don’t get fed on this boulevard.”