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Warning: this post includes Being Mary Jane spoilers. 

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Tuesday night’s episode of Being Mary Jane was…a lot. Lisa’s suicide and the revelation that she was molested by her step-father damn near took us all out. But the super emotional episode also reminded us of a valuable lesson: stop pretending to be fine.

Like Mary Jane and her best friend Lisa, so many Black women try to smile, or be strong, through their pain–but it just doesn’t work.

While most of us don’t end up taking our own lives because we’re hurting so bad (although some certainly do), many sisters use other methods–food, sex, unhealthy relationships, anger, depression, shopping–to cope.

If you haven’t watched this week’s Being Mary Jane episode DO IT NOW. It was not only expertly written and acted, but it also brought up SO many issues (mental health, suicide, incest, vulnerability) Black folks rarely talk about because we’re too busy trying to be strong.

During the closing scene, Mary Jane finally grieves for her dead friend. Through the entire episode Mary Jane refuses to give into her feelings about Lisa’s death, instead she busies herself with planning the memorial, ignoring her friend’s and family’s help, and finally cutting David out of her life (we think!). But when Mary Jane gets to the funeral she finally decides to get real and tell some ugly truths.

“I realized I’m a liar. I’m a big liar, and a good liar. We all are. We’re all just pretending that we’re okay when we’re really not,” she tells the crowd at Lisa’s funeral. “We’re all afraid that the whole world is going to come falling down if we’re honest with one another all the time.”

Mary Jane concludes: “The lies we tell each other, that’s what killed my friend Lisa.”

It’s also what’s killing many of our sisters, too.

Take a look at the powerful Being Mary Jane scene that’s still giving us chills. 

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